Akashi no Sexual Harassment
by Canadino
Summary: As the title suggests. Akashi x everyone


**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.**

Background music: -

[=]

"I haven't got a gag reflex," Akashi tells the one with the most imagination on the team: Midorima. He knows the moment the last part of the last word leaves his lips, Midorima's mind will explode with all sorts of projected images: of Akashi's lips around his dick and sucking him off religiously; of Akashi taking him deep, feeling the tip of his dick hit the back of Akashi's throat and the feel of him _swallowing_. He knows Midorima will see these in his mind's eye vividly, each color clearly and each nuance in sharp detail. He laughs when he sees the way Midorima's slacks tent uncomfortably and walks away leaving Midorima flushing and shameful in the middle of the hallway.

[=]

"What do you like about breasts?" Akashi asks Aomine.

"What do I like about breasts?" Aomine parrots, a vigor expected of teenage boys in his voice. "Breasts are life. They are righteousness. They have that nice, soft feel with that pleasing form. They represent the subtly and grace of the female form and from it, we received the sustenance with which we survived with when we were still vulnerable." As expected, Aomine is only eloquent when he wants to be. "And also, titfucks. Imagine those sweet breasts pressed together. I can only dream about how perfect and tight that would be."

"I could imagine something tighter," Akashi says, not blinking at Aomine's vulgarity, and bends down to pick up a neglected towel on the sidelines of the gym, his movement forcing Aomine to switch from looking his captain in the eyes to the curve of Akashi's bum and its form in his gym shorts. Midorima most certainly has the best imagination of the team, but Aomine is a close second, and Akashi straightens to see Aomine blushing like a schoolgirl, all words lost in his throat. Akashi leaves him in such a mess.

[=]

The first time Kise feels Akashi's hand on his ass, he squeals and protests wildly, insisting on childhood innocence and his spotless purity. Akashi highly doubts this with the sex looks he gives girls in homeroom and with the finessed way he explained the purpose of a dildo to Murasakibara who has lived fourteen years without hearing of such a thing. "I meant to clap you on the back," Akashi explains. "It is just that you are taller than me and my hand – as I am of shorter stature than you – might not always reach its intended mark."

Kise eats this up and protests no more because doing so might touch on a sensitive subject (Akashi's bite sized height). He spares not a second thought on Akashi's hand landing on his bottom from then on, though he does lie in bed sometimes and wonder why sometimes he feels the hand squeeze.

[=]

With Murasakibara, with the libido of a tough tree or a sturdy rock, he does not even have to try too hard. He takes the _umaibo_ Murasakibara offers him and puts it in his mouth, slow inch by inch. He lets his tongue lick up the salt along the sides and watches as Murasakibara swallows, transfixed.

[=]

"I apologize, I did not see you there," Akashi says when he comes up from behind Kuroko and slides his hands up underneath Kuroko's shirt, fingers ghosting over bony ribs and groping rosy nipples. Kuroko only responds with a quick gasp, arching his back as Akashi touches him. "I certainly did not mean it, but your misdirection is getting much too good."

"That's alright," Kuroko says, and is taken by surprise again when Akashi does the same thing a few moments later.

[=]

Momoi, like all the girls affiliated with the Teiko basketball team, would swear on her own honor and family name that Akashi Seijuro is the perfect gentleman and the prince of the team, but sometimes she has to wonder when she hands him her gathered information and he responds by telling her she fills out their uniform splendidly if he is really the gentleman he seems to be.

[=]

Akashi knows Haizaki is planning something devious even before he approaches him because he heard of the plan in the changing room before, several lockers down. "What do you think our esteemed vice captain would do if I pantsed him?" he asks crudely, laughing like a wild animal to which Aomine only huffs and leaves him cackling. Because of his wherewithal to read others, Akashi does not panic when he is kneeling down to tie his shoes and Haizaki comes up behind him, badly hiding snickers. He knows the moment he stands up, Haizaki will come crashing down, taking his shorts with him. How juvenile.

Instead, Akashi continues kneeling and turns around, his face coming mere hair lengths away from Haizaki's crotch. He hears the boy suck in a breath above him and looks up with all seriousness in his eyes. "Would you mind explaining why you are standing so close to me?" he inquires, making sure to let a hot breath hit Haizaki's junk and feeling it twitch close to his cheek.

"I just wanted to greet you, that's it!" Haizaki says, mostly shrieking. He scampers away and Akashi stands, victorious.

[=]

Nijimura is not entirely certain, but he is at least eight-nine percent sure there is enough room on the crowded train they are taking to an away game that Akashi does not need to stand so close to him, but his vice captain is and the way his ass is rubbing up against Nijimura's crotch is unsettling to say the least. He shifts but Akashi seems to move with the vibrations of the train and keeps himself situated in front of him. To be accused of train frottage just before entering college will not be good on his record, so he thinks of unsexy things. He doesn't succeed, and Nijimura wrinkles his nose when he notices the smile he doesn't think Akashi is even trying to hide.

[=]

Head couch Shirogane thinks – no, he knows – that Akashi Seijuro is a calculating captain, so he knows it isn't the second year's unconsciousness that makes him crook his chin and cock his neck during meetings to expose the milky white expanse of his neck and the way he speaks slowly to enunciate and make his listeners watch the forms his lips take and the quiet tone his voice takes to make people lean in to listen to him – no, it isn't innocent at all. And he can tell from Sanada's uncomfortable fidgeting that Akashi is very good at things like this.

[=]

"They tell me you're a tease," Kagami chokes out, scrambling back in an attempt to escape but Akashi has him cornered. "They say you're good at titillating others but no one has had the pleasure of tasting the…uh…offerings."

"Would you like to?" Akashi asks.

"I'm not, uh, hungry."

"Yes, but are you thirsty?" Akashi laughs when Kagami's face colors and he sputters. "Here you go," he says, and hands the flustered boy a Pocari. "We can't have you getting yourself dehydrated out there, can we?"


End file.
